Just Once

Just once I want to feel free from this depression.
Just once.

Just once I want to say that I love you as we embrace
in passion, embrace in tears, embrace in pain.
Just once.

O to feel the sadness of the naked Moon,
to touch the needles of despair, to hug the stones of pain.

Tonight dress me in black velvet and hang me upon a cross.

Just once to feel free from all the violence of life.

Longing to breathe a rose, only to find myself
strangled by the oil flowers of industry.

Just once I want to know that you are there, that you are not
a plastic strip of advertising imagery.

Just once to touch you to the marrow of your being,
to feel the darkness of your womb, to escape the ephemeral.

No more filth, no more lust, no more intoxication.

Just once to taste the eternity of your Rose.

Sleeping naked in the darkness of pure imagery, hallucinating
the ghostly visions of black lizards, wet snakes and
heavy crocodiles.

Just once to free the prisons of insanity.

If I get up, if I ever rise, just once
to feel the water upon my lips,
pouring from the breast of the benevolent
sky.

O woman, you are Infinity.  Just once to hear the
sound of your voice in your tremulous creativity.

Just once, just once, just once.
 

                                                       September 1, 1986
                                                    --Alexander Shaumyan