Some Thoughts on “Mutant Yuppie Larvae”

    Let’s face it, we’re nothing
      but mutant yuppie larvae.

      Every generation has a slogan.
      Know what ours is?—
      “I don’t know, what do you want
      to do?”
       —Amanda Roer
           Ex-Valley Girl

Somewhere along the way
we’ve all become dull.
I do not know how it happened,
but we’ve grown accustomed
to it and nothing seems
to shake us out of our
dull lives.
Yes, we still smile at
each other—those dull smiles
that we have for everyone—
“have a nice day” smiles or
something like that and we
still give those dull kisses
to our children, husbands
or wives on the cheek or
on the mouth—it really
makes no difference—
and we read a dull paper
in the morning hoping to find
something exciting there—
perhaps a rape or a murder
or maybe some juicy bit of
gossip about some celebrity—
a politician, a musician, or a movie star—
I do not know...
But it’s all quite dull
and insignificant.
HOW ABOUT A NICE WAR FOR A CHANGE?
(That should break our daily routine.)
But even wars leave the
headlines and disappear into
that spell of incurable boredom
and emptiness...
There are plenty of dull films
to choose from and there are
plenty of dull books with
dull heroes and dull heroines
engaging in a dull act
of lovemaking...
And you can try cunnilingus
and fellatio, a missionary,
69 or a “doggie style” position,
you can even swap partners
if you want—it’s all so
very very dull...
You can even do it over
the phone without fear of
getting pregnant or catching
AIDS with some dull man
or a woman trying to act “horny”...
Perhaps there was a
spark of life once—
some faint glimpse of a
childhood smile—
but it’s been packaged
and sold and there is
nothing left anymore
except a piece of merchandise.
People get used to anything
these days.
It’s easier that way.
And if you want the “truth”,
you can turn to one of those
“New Age” dealers, selling herbs,
crystals and books for
anything that ails you,
or you can get into EST,
dianetics and psychotherapy.
It’s all so very easy.
Why do you resist it?
If you want whiter teeth,
firmer buttocks, bigger muscles,
larger breasts, and a smoother
skin without wrinkles...
If you want thicker and
healthier hair...
What do you want?
Or as one girl said to me once:
“I don’t know what do you want to do?”
 

                                 May 19, 1991
                             --Alexander Shaumyan