A POET'S GUIDE TO WORLD NEWS


...invaded Kuwait... serious repercussions in the world community... now back to the Central park jogger trial... brutally raped and murdered a four year old girl... Vanna, a new fragrance to bring out the real you... the act of naked aggression... honey, would you pass me the beer... what's the score anyway?... Hussein's aggression can only be compared to that of...eat my shorts, Homer... Adolf Hitler... sodomy and homosexuality are...Madonna's controversial new video...we love Saddam Hussein... will swim in their own blood... just for the taste of it... that's why I wear a cross your heart bra... M.C. Hammer is number one for the second week...a serious problem in our schools... the U.N. has passed... Stayfree panty shields...12 resolutions... we'll be talking to children molested... the Dow Jones is down 23 points... by their alcoholic fathers... many people were seriously... not immoral to show breasts in... the Constitution of the United... airlines shut down because... Oh what a feeling!... inflicted several stab wounds... the Emir of Kuwait said... champagne wishes and caviar dreams... on Murder, She Wrote Jessica... million Americans will have AIDS by... this Bud's for you... another touchdown... Secretary of State Baker will travel... this super shape-up video... absolutely free... Shamir ordered gas masks...for feminine freshness...use a condom...explore the mysteries of the unknown in this... money back guaranteed... the Senate ethics committee  will meet... to discuss the Palestinian question... the best new sports car... in the brutal murder... Donald Trump announced today... now back to the regularly scheduled... the pro-life activists bombed... we won't have another Vietnam... let's nuke them!... will swim in their own blood... Judas... experts said if Saddam... Americans are proud of...a new ruling on flag-burning...call the love line and talk to that special... Dick Cheney suggested... rushed to the hospital...to spend Christmas in the Saudi...in case of hemorrhoidal... on the MTV music awards... contained subliminal messages... the young men and women serving our... asked Congress... helps fight tartar and gum disease... suck my dick, bitch... the multinational coalition... I'm looking at the man in the mirror... plastic surgery is safe... Iraqis are a brave people... get out of Kuwait... blows up the oil fields... choosy mothers choose... m'm, m'm, good soup!... in serious but stable condition... in your own video library... in the privacy of your... aggression will not be rewarded... go ahead, make my day... to call up one million reservists... in the latest savings and loans... at Shoprite... accused of a racial killing... Christmas shoppers rush... January 15 is a real deadline... your skin can be younger... Leo Buscaglia's special message... this holiday season... Gorbachev sends troops... only on the Playboy Channel... we give you the best... stripped of their rights and dignity... appear skeptical... eliminate all nuclear and chemical... with mild temperatures Wednesday... had a heart attack... unavailable for comment... HAVE A NICE DAY AND A PLEASANT TOMORROW...
 
 

                                                                                        January 10, 1991
                                                                                     --Alexander Shaumyan