THE WORLD IS FULL OF BASTARDS (for Allen Ginsberg) Bastards! Bastards! Bastards! Bastards! Bloody bastards! The world is full of them! Everybody is a BASTARD! Buddha is a bastard, Mohammed is a bastard, Krishna is a big bastard! All bastards! Jesus Christ is the biggest bastard! Crucify that bastard! White bastards, yellow bastards, black bastards, We have bloody bastards of all colors, Jewish bastards, Christian bastards, Hindu bastards, Muslim bastards, born-again bastards, religious bastards, STOP BEING SUCH BLOODY BASTARDS! atheist bastards, Commie bastards, capitalist pig bastards, Feminist bastards, racist bastards, sexist bastards, peace movement bastards, insurance bastards, my family are all bastards, bastards! your mother is such a bastard! hippie bastards, punk rocker bastards, fascist Nazi bastards, bastards, all bastards! Hitler is a bastard! Martin Luther King, Jr. is another bastard! All bastards! Bastard this! Bastard that! Bastard your father! Bastard your sister! And your brother, another bloody bastard! Lao-Tzu is a bastard! intellectuals are bastards! I AM THE BIGGEST BASTARD! I'M TIRED OF ALL OF YOU BASTARDS, SCREWING UP MY LIFE!
Psychiatrists are bastards, homosexuals are bastards! Allen Ginsberg, you are a bastard! But you probably know that already! Gooks, niggers, kikes, spics, honkeys, all bastards! Virgins are bastards! Rednecks are bastards! Married couples are bastards! I love you, honey, but you are such a bastard! YOU BASTARDS TAKE YOURSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY! YOU BASTARDS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! Stop polluting the bloody environment, you bloody bastards! Stop masturbating! Take away your fucking nuclear arms! You can't fuck with nuclear arms! BLOODY BASTARDS! I'm going to call the bloody police on you bastards! That will show you! Bloody church bastards, why don't you give some money to the poor bastards! And I'm fed up with the rich bastards! All presidents are bastards! REAGAN IS A BASTARD! GORBACHEV IS A BASTARD! THEIR WIVES ARE THE BIGGEST BASTARDS! Yes, the world is full of bastards!
Only some bastards think themselves better than other bastards! And that's how the wars start: ONE BASTARD GETS UPSET WITH ANOTHER BASTARD AND THEY DROP BOMBS ON EACH OTHER! My father wants to kill my mother, and I want to kill my wife and kids! But we are all bloody bastards, homosexual or not! Don't give me that GOOD BASTARD crap! We are all the same bastards! Charlie Manson is no worse than your father! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BLOODY BASTARDS! Poets are the biggest bastards, They take themselves too seriously, And if you don't like my poem, YOU ARE A BASTARD!
--Alexander Shaumyan
January 14, 1988