Safe Green WorldI walked out into the safe green world
and the sun welcomed me in silence
of its bright rays playing upon
my face and shoulders
And my eyes were alive with pictures
of strangers with smiles on their faces
as they danced to the music of the leaves
rustling in the wind...I walked out into the safe green world
and I knew that it was now the time
to shed my dark clothes and drink
the water of life
And I understood finally the kisses of women
and the flight of the butterflies and I no longer
needed glasses to see the beauty
of the mountains—
They spoke a language all their own—
the language of color and form
of being and becoming
I knew that it was you all along
that I searched for in the darkness
And the ocean answered my prayers
with its soothing waves...Yes, I was a lost soul then, looking
for answers, angry and defiant,
wanting to change it all—
Oh how much I wanted to change things!
How much I wanted to scream and
break out of my innards!
Look! Look! Here's a poet talking—
an odd little fellow who walks with
a limp, unable to bear the burden
of the earthly struggle...Now I walked into the safe green world
and I saw myself laughing uncontrollably
and bursting into tears...I have accepted you now—the loss, the pain,
the tears that I had to endure
each time that I screamed to be
close to you...I have accepted you now in all your shame
and your glory, in all your poverty
and all your pretentious wealth of images
I have accepted you now—ugly and beautiful as
you are, fragrant as a rose and stinking
of rotten meat
I have accepted all of you like my salvation and
my damnationO safe green world
in my heart and my pockets
O safe green world
I carry you daily to work and to school
and in my dreams I see your beauty
and your hideousness
And I break into a strange new laughter
of a poet being born amidst a heap
of rubbish and dead bodies and bonesO yes! Yes! Yes! I'm safe here, guided
by some invisible force telling me
to go on, to go on and keep on
fighting until my old age
when it doesn't matter any more—All the scars of the soul and of the body will vanish
inside the safe green world...December 21, 1990
--Alexander Shaumyan