A Toast to the World (for J. Krishnamurti)Like some absurd sexual fantasy
Let's make a toast to the last vestiges of Conservatism,
robed in papal decorations, social realist slogans
and patriotic hurrahs,
Let's paint the sky with Jesus
like a good born-again Christian,
And let's have sex the way Dr. Ruth shows,
penetrating slowly and gently,
the way they instruct us in sex manuals,
Let us smile the McDonald's smiles
and have heart attacks, waiting for a hamburger,
And let us grit our teeth upon seeing dirty
beatnik intellectuals,
And let us all walk quietly along the sidewalk
the way all civilized people do,
Bring out the icons, bring out the statues,
bring out the flags,
and let's see once again the bald skull of Lenin,
and the devious smile of Nixon,
Let us make this world safe for bureaucracy
And let's embrace patriotic pomposity
and intellectual precocity and Nicaraguan atrocity,
And let us praise the Lord and cry hallelujah
and sing national anthems and commercial jingles
ad infinitum and ad nauseam,
And let's all wear turtleneck sweaters, Izod shirts, Jordache jeans
and idiotic perfumes, colognes and deodorants,
Let us stand upright like every good American
who owns a BMW,
And let's have more Rambo movies,
more sentimental Lassie films and bigger breasts and penises,
And let's have more vitamins, more chemicals and more pollution,
Let's go to museums and bookstores
and talk about books we've never read
and art we've never seen,
Let's walk around with solemn faces and expensive suitcases,
Let us watch our weight and smell nice on a date,
And let's all be good consumers
who never steal shopping carts,
Let's be tough and inexpressive like John Wayne and
dumb and blond like Marilyn Monroe,
And let us never be homosexual!!!
Let's hang out with the "in" crowd, wear fashionable clothes
and speak with a phony French accent,
Let's not kiss in public and let us never reveal ourselves,
except in the shower,
Let's pray to Buddha, Krishna, Rajneesh, Maharishi and Sun Myung Moon
And let's take yoga and transcendental meditation,
Let's be superficial, artificial and vegetarian,
Better yet, let's be unthinking, unfeeling human vegetables,
Let us waste our lives in trivialities, banalities and idolatry,
Let's hand out quarters to the starving blacks in Africa and
pass by the poor in America,
Let us take extra-strength Excedrin and Tylenol that hasn't been
tampered with,
Let us worship the almighty Psychiatrists, Psychologists and Social Workers,
Let's not feel our headaches, backaches and heartaches,
Let's practice creative visualization and solitary masturbation,
Let's go to a palmist, chiropractor, astrologer and a Tarot reader,
Let's get into EST, Gestalt and sensitivity training,
Let us celebrate the ME-worship,
Let's be a Harvard man, a Yale man, but never human,
Let's publish pompous intellectual poetry which no one can read
without knowledge of world literature and several languages,
Let's eat Dannon yogurt and listen to punk music,
Let's get bored and change our hairstyle,
Let's watch reruns of I Love Lucy,
Let us find ourselves,
Let's go to the dances and read Harlequin romances,
Let us find ourselves,
Let us find ourselves without breaking the mirrors...
January 18, 1987
--Alexander Shaumyan