What Is a Poet?

What is a poet but a drunken fool--
a pitiful being that staggers through
local taverns, pathetic and mad,
muttering gibberish to the masses,
while picking his nose
and philosophizing about the legs
of a young waitress?

What is a poet but an unkempt vagrant,
who's taken a free bus ride to nowhere?
What is a poet but a caricature of a
civilized society that wants to hear
how beautiful it is?

What is a poet but a persona non grata,
crashing your sophisticated party,
urinating on your carpet and shouting
obscenities all night long,
talking about God and demons
and drinking all your good whiskey,
while trying to seduce your woman?

What is a poet but a madman,
who forgot to take his medication
and reminds you of your bipolar mother
who pisses in her underwear
or your alcoholic dad who takes Viagra?

What is a poet but an asshole
who tells you the truth that
you don't want to hear?

                                           October 26, 2003
                                         --Alexander Shaumyan